Whitney Houston performed the Star Spangled Banner song in 1991 before the Super Bowl. I had graduated from high school the year before. I still had dreams of being a singer, but that was a dream for me. While I was out of high school with no job, I had to think reality. 1991 was the year that I was just sitting around the house. The day that I saw Whitney singing the Star Spangled Banner on television was like a performance I had never heard before. The Star Spangled Banner was a song you had to sing right, and Whitney blew everybody away. My mother who was a critic said, "Gail, Whitney has made history now." Sure enough, Whitney did.
When Whitney was through performing, I said, "Mama, if I ever become a singer, I'm not singing the Star Spangled Banner song. I'm going to write my own. People are too critical on how people sing the Star Spangled Banner, but no one can touch Whitney Houston."
There is just something about the song, Let It Be, written by the Beatles and played with the help of Billy Preston. Billy Preston also sung the song in concert. As I think about this song, I think about both Whitney Houston and my mother. My mother and I both dreamed the song on the same night one night while we were sleeping. Little did I know that my mother would someday leave me. God tells me that there is a blessing in her death, but I don't see it now. In order to see, I have to let her death be. When I think about my mother, Whitney, and Billy too, I'm hoping somewhere down the road we will all meet and we will greet. I believe that God took them all at a time or the moment when they were saved.
From YouTube
From ABC
As I watched Whitney play piano in an inter-view with Diane Sawyer, I saw that she could be a great piano player. As I watch Billy Preston play, I think of Whitney.
When I first saw Whitney Houston's music videos, I knew she was an actress before she became one. I remember when I first saw her video, "Saving All My Love for You". I thought, "Wow. The girl can act." As the video rolled along, I thought, "I don't know a man in this world that would try to resist Whitney." In the video, Whitney pretends to spend a lot of time in the studio with a married man. She seems to like the man and singing that she was saving her love for him. I looked at it as just entertainment, but Whitney was singing and acting it out so well. I thought, "I wonder did she actually have that experience in real life?"
From YouTube
My mother sat with me and watched the video. She said, "That guy in that video look just like Jermaine Jackson." I had to rewind the tape and take a second look at the video. If my mother had never said that to me, I never would have recognized the fact that he did. Then we remembered that Whitney did sing with Jermaine. As the video continued to play my mother said, "Gail, never get involved with a married man. You'll never have him. He'll be running back and forth between you and his wife. Never get a guy with a ready made family. He'll be paying child support. You don't want that." My mother talked with me through the whole video.
From YouTube
The thing that sticks in my head most about the video is the man's wife. She was looking at Whitney like she wanted to say, "Yea, I see you, and he's my man." In the video, Whitney was looking nervous. Whitney had me laughing. When I saw that lady looking down at Whitney, I thought, "Huh oh! That woman ain't stupid." The lady that played as the man's wife was also a great actress. I can't forget the look in her eyes.
At the end of the video, Whitney was walking alone. I sat wondering if Whitney really did have an affair with Jermaine Jackson. My mother always thought that Jermaine and Whitney liked each other. I didn't doubt it. My mother would say, "You can raise children, talk to them, and tell them, but that doesn't mean that children are always going to do what you say." Whitney's mom sounds a lot like my mom. Moms know their children. My mom would say, "I carried you for nine months, and I know about what you will do and what you want do." I use to tell my mother that Whitney was a good girl, and with the kind of mother that she had, she wasn't going to mess up too bad. My mom would say, "Yea, but Whitney ain't perfect. That's why her mom talks about her like she does. She had to whip Whitney's behind, like I had to whip yours. I need to whip it sometimes now."
To make a long story short, when I see Whitney, I see me. When I see her mother, I see my mother. I miss my mother, and I miss watching Whitney with hers. When Whitney died, it hurt because she felt like a part of my family. As I watch the video, "Saving All My Love for You", I can hear my mother spiritually saying, "Don't you forget Whitney."
Whitney Houston and Natalie Cole performs together. I loved hearing them both. I remember watching this video with my mother. When Whitney was getting down with Natalie in singing, my mother would laugh a little and say, "Yea, but Natalie has been singing a long time." My mother picked up on tiny little things. It made no difference to me that Natalie had been in the singing business longer than Whitney. My mother was old school anyhow. I liked it all.
When Mariah and Whitney sung together, I thought they sounded so much alike. However, in some areas of thier singing, if you listen carefully, they sound different.
My mother was listening to them one day and she pointed out something about Mariah's voice that I did not catch. My mother said, "Mariah sounds kind of like a country and western singer a little bit."
Mariah does sound like she could be a country singer although she sings like a soul singer. I believe she could make some beautiful hits singng country. Whitney could have also, but she probably would have made them soul like she did Dolly Parton's song, "I Will Always Love You". It became a giant hit all over again when she sung it. I have enjoyed Mariah's singing as much as I have enjoyed Whitney's singing. I'm glad that Mariah and Whitney decdided to do something together. Whitney and Mariah showed Hollywood that great talent can come together without competing all of the time. They showed Hollywood that you don't have to think that you are better than the next person because that's not what it is all about.
John Houston: .....I think it did take away a lot of her youthful fun time....Whitney had disappeared and I went to look for her. I found her out around the dance floor, and I heard a voice calling me. And she was saying, "Daddy! Daddy! Guess what! I was dancing, Daddy! I was dancing!" I almost cried because right there I realized that all of the things that young people do, she had not the opportunity to do before then. ( From A Moment of Truth Italian TV Special).
My Opinion: It is important that children growing up have some freedom. If not, it might lead them to be wild as they get older. I think my mother saw that and allowed me to have my freedom growing up. Sometimes she still got on my case about dancing too much in my young days. She would say, "Sit down girl! Every time I turn around, you are shaking that behind. Turn that boogaloo off!" Now, since I have been older, I hardly dance much any more. If I had not been able to be a child, I would be crazy right now. I found out that my mother did the same thing when she was young. She danced too.
My Love is Your Love was a studio album released in 1998. That is the year I think my mother first found out that she was sick. A bad turning point was happening in her life although she loved God and did all she could to live for him. It was a time where I was beginning to learn that God is just ready for some people. Sometimes it's not a curse. It is just in God's will no matter how much evil is around.Sometimes it is for God's glory,and we are not ready for death. But Jesus prayed to God and said, "I pray not that you should take them out of the world, but that you should keep them from the evil (John 17:15)." Whitney, You, and I were prayed for before we were born.
My mother pointed out Whitney's Lyrics to me from her song, My Love is Your Love. I remember her speaking when Whitney sung this verse in her video:
If I should die this very day Don't cry, cause on earth we wasn't meant to stay And no matter what the people say I'll be waiting for you after Judgement Day
'Cause your love is my love And my love is your love It would take an eternity to break us And the chains of Amistad couldn't hold us
Before Whitney got to the end of the song, my mother said, "Whitney is singing that song like she's going to die or something."
I said, "No, mama, that's not it, I don't think. She is just singing a song."
"I don't know, Gail. There is something about the words and the way she's singing it."
A Threat to Satan
My mother always had strong feelings about people and things. An average person can only see what is in front of them, but a spiritual person in the Lord can see and feel beyond. I know for a fact that my mother was a big threat to Satan. I believe that Whitney was a threat to him too. A lot of us are, but don't let Satan scare you. Do what God tells you to do, and there is no way you will be harmed. Satan is just a man. (Isaiah 14:16) "They that see you (Satan) shall narrowly look on you, and consider you, saying,
Is this the man that made the earth to tremble, that did shake kingdoms;..." Don't give into sin. It is the life of Whitney Houston that speaks as well as her death. There were things that Whitney would not do and things that Whitney did not believe in doing. She was the child of God. Some judge and say that it is her fault what happened to her, but we do not always see the whole picture. We do not know a person's soul inside and out. We are not God. Satan is our accuser. 1 Peter 5:8Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about, seeking whom he may devour:
Satan is very jealous of everyone. He is nobody's friend. Satan will work with people that serve him for a while, but when they start looking better than him, he is ready to destroy them. All the people that do not serve him, he is defiantly worried about them and how to get them. We may find ourselves doing things that is not in our hearts at all. That is when we need to pray harder and Whitney knew. That is why she studied her Bible and prayed. The world is full of tricks. We sometimes get into things we think is alright and may not be alright. That is why we need to stay alert and stay in our Bibles and be careful of whom and what we let in our lives.
Satan is in music and was in charge of the heavenly choir in heaven when his name was Lucifer. He is in some of our churches. Whitney may have been an enemy to him. He heard her singing and saw how people loved her music. That made him mad. Satan may have known a weakness Whitney had. Though she thinks everything is her fault, maybe somebody actually did some things to Whitney for her life to turn out the way it did and maybe she didn't know it. Like I said, we do not see everything and God has great mercy and sees everything. Everybody is not messed up because they did something to themselves. It's not always what you see. I learned this from God. He knows who is in fault. The right ones will be punished.
When Whitney died, I felt my love for her. I had love I didn't know that was there because I never met her. She's right when she said Your Love Is My Love. God is the author of Love. God is love and his love is in us. We should love one another.
Whitney made a video and song titled, "Watchulookinat". Yea, I looked at Whitney sometimes in joy and laughter.
Sometimes I looked at Whitney kind of sad, and I am still looking. I wished that I could have been there for her in the bad times.
My mom looked very concerned when she was alive seeing Whitney. She said to me, "Something's going on with that child."
My mother was not looking at the fact that Whitney was a celebrity either. She saw beyond Whitney's drug addiction, but she would not tell everything she thought she could sense. My mother looked at Whitney as if she was her own kin at the moment she was concerned. She cared, but I just knew Whitney was going to be alright. Seeing my mother look with concern, I knew Whitney's mom had more concern. Everybody was lookin', but not everybody hated Whitney either. Everybody was talking about Whitney. She had some enemies after her maybe, but some people were praying for her too. Seeing the concerned look on my mother's face kind of had me worried. When my mother knew something was terribly wrong, something was wrong. We both knew that Whitney was not herself sometimes. I was a whole lot younger back then.
Today, thinking of Whitney's death, I can see and understand my mother's concern even more. What I am feeling now, my mother was probably feeling long ago about Whitney. After Whitney's death, I thought about some of the peculiar ways my mother had about speaking out. Sometimes she kept her feelings to herself, and I think God showed my mother something on her sick bed about the entertainment world. My mother saw people in trouble and was led to speak about things when it was time. She was another soul that left this world too soon.
As I sat looking at an old film on Whitney getting baptized in Israel in the Jordan River, I could feel a strange feeling that something did not want me to watch it. So I stopped watching. This was after Whitney's death. Whitney asked a good question when she asked Watchulookinat.
[Chorus:]
Why you lookin' at me
Don't get mad at me
'Cause I'm still gonna be me
(Tell me, Tell me, Tell me)
Whatchulookinat
(Tell me, Tell me, Tell me)
Whatchulookinat
I feel your eyes on me
You been telling lies on me
(Tell me, Tell me, Tell me)
Whatchulookinat
(Tell me, Tell me, Tell me)
See I don't understand
Why you keep peepin' me
When you don't even like me
You're after me and my man
Don't think you're stressing me
'Cause your lies don't excite me, no no
(Never thought)
Never thought, Never thought
(Never knew)
Never knew that you would do this to me
Do this to me
(Try to ruin me) Ruin me
(Be my enemy) Be my enemy
(Never thought)
Never thought, Never thought, Never thought
(That you) That you
Would act as if you're cool with me
So why you lookin' at me
You might be wondering why I never write anything about Bobby Brown. Well, to tell you the truth, I really don't know what to say about him. When you think you know the celebrities, you really don't. All I know, and this is no joke, Whitney shook up the world when she chose to marry Bobby. I thought to myself, " I was way off about Whitney's taste in men." I looked at my mother and said, "Ma! Guess who Whitney Houston is going to marry!"
My mom asked, "Who?"
I said, "Bobby Brown! I can't believe it! Why would she want to marry him? What does she see. I can't see it."
My mother said, "I don't know. Well, that's who she wants to marry. She see something good in him, I guess."
One of my friends from high school called Whitney champagne and said Bobby Brown was like beer. Everybody had a way to describe Whitney and Bobby being together back then. However, I began to notice that Whitney was so happy. Whitney and Bobby really looked like they loved each other. I was kind of getting use to seeing them together. I was starting to think differently about Bobby. Then I heard that Whitney was having a child by him. I thought, "Maybe he's not that bad."
People said that Bobby was a bad boy. I couldn't tell what his image was anymore. To be honest, I don't know him at all. I didn't know Whitney either because I never thought she would marry Bobby Brown. They were everywhere together and always together it seemed. They even performed together, and I enjoyed that.
This is just an old memory of mine in 1992. That's the year Bobby and Whitney got married. I watched them with my mother.
Now it is 2012. I spend time with my father since my mother is gone. We were looking at Whitney and Bobby dance together in her concert performing at Constitution Hall, Washington D.C. My father said, "They look like they were doing great together. They should have kept on doing things together like that."
The first time that I heard Whitney Houston's remake of I'm Every Woman by Chaka Khan, I did not know that it was Whitney singing it. It sounded just like the original. For a while, I did not pay any attention.
One day I was sitting in my room and it was playing on the radio. My mother came into my room and heard it playing. She asked, "Who that?"
I said, "Mama, they playing that song like it's new. I have been hearing it a lot, and I know Chaka Khan sung it. I remember hearing that song from a little girl unless it made a hit all over again."
Me and my mother continued to listen. When the song got near the end, I heard Whitney's voice saying, Chaka Khan. I said, "Wait! That sounds like Whitney Houston."
My mother said, "Hmm! I believe it is."
When we heard Whitney's laugh, I knew for sure then that it was Whitney. I love to hear Whitney's laugh. It is like a little trademark sound of her to me.
When Whitney came along with Greatest Love of All, I had some problems singing it. I was a teenager then. Whitney had a different vocal range than I had. I would sing up to a certain point and stop and listen to her. My mom would ask, "Why do you stop? You never sing the song all the way through?"
I would say, "Whitney's too strong. She's too high for me right there, and I get tired. That is a long song. Whitney is long winded, and I get out of breath." When Whitney would get to..."I decided long ago never to walk in anyone's shadow", I would stop to listen. I thought to myself, "The song is new. I have to learn it that's all." I would play back Whitney's song and wondered how I was going to sing that particular line that she was singing so high and loud with an attitude.
My mother would say, "Gail, you have to find your own voice, but you sound kind of like Whitney. You sound a lot like her when you first start."
When I would play Whitney's song, I would turn the volume down to sing over her voice to find mine. I didn't like it, and I felt an audience wouldn't like it either. Still, I was hearing Whitney's voice and the way she sung it. That would be the voice the audience would want to hear. Back in those days, if you sung a song, you had to sound like the person that sung that song. That's when I started writing my own songs.
